When You Feel Like You Have Nothing To Give / Jane Edge

There’s a voice inside many of us that pops up occasionally – a quiet voice that whispers “oh no, I can’t do that.” Sometimes the voice has shame as a companion; sometimes reason; sometimes fear. Often, the voice pops up when we have the potential to contribute and snidely tells us not to. What do I have to give?

When I look around my office, or church, or glance over the tables at the coffee shop, I see talented, confident people. They’re everywhere. They sing beautifully and make thoughtful, interesting observations. They cook delicious food and open their homes to others. They speak confidently at meetings and are comfortable holding the attention of a room while telling a story. They mentor new staff and are so appreciated for it. They host a lively mum’s group at one of the cafe tables. These are the people, the little voice tells me, who have something to offer.

If this little voice also whispers to you, you’re not alone. But you don’t have to listen to it.

As community members and citizens, we are called to contribute. We should all be able to leave a positive impact of some kind, right? If we can remind ourselves to think in a logical and healthy way, we find another – worthwhile – voice to reassure us.

It tells us that we are all part of a larger community – a body, of sorts - and each part of that body is necessary in helping it to function. We all have a contribution to make and no amount of self-doubt, or comparison with others, stops that from being valid.

It’s true in many contexts: the meeting, the university tutorial class, the social netball team, the mum’s coffee group…and the list could go on. Every person there has a slightly different way of approaching ideas and solutions. The loudest voice in the room isn’t the only one worth hearing.

So how do we do it, exactly?

Start small. Say one thing in the meeting that you feel strongly about. Choose one area of your community to participate in, even if you only do it occasionally. Go and speak to that new person in the class, even if you feel shy doing it. Speak out against things you disagree with sometimes, even if others disagree with you. If practice doesn’t make things perfect, it certainly makes them easier to do.

Let the worthwhile voice interrupt the one of self-doubt. Know that the rest of the body needs you, and try to be the best ear, or eye, or leg that you can be.

Jane Edge