Queer Christians Exist: Will the Church Liberate the Rainbow? / A.J. Hendry

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When I first walked into that church, I didn’t know what to expect.

I’d been taught that those people were wrong, that they were deceived, that worse, they were rebellious, sinful, willfully disobeying the will of God.

But, they said they followed Jesus.

And they’d invited me to this gathering of the church.

So I went.

The thing I remember most distinctly was the love. They were a small community, but their love for each other, and their love for others could not be in doubt.

In the short time that I was there they spoke of their plans to open their homes to refugees who needed community upon arrival in New Zealand. They spoke of their ministry to people being held in prison, of their commitment to stand with the marginalized, to love those considered least.

They were queer Christians.

And despite what people have said, they were followers of Jesus.

For many in the Christian community, being queer, and being Christian may seem incompatible.

And yet, Queer Christians exist.

They love their God, they serve their communities, they are involved in partnering with the Divine to bring about the Divine dream into this world. And still, many Christian leaders, fail to acknowledge their existence.

And so, our rainbow whanau are stuck in limbo.

Uncertain of their status within our communities, left alone to question the validity of their position within the faith they call home. Will they be accepted, and if so, to what extent? Can they be in a relationship, can they lead worship, can they be open about their sexuality or gender identity? And if they are, how will people respond?

Will their leadership positions within the community be taken from them? Will people question their ability to serve?

For some it is too much, the unanswered questions, the constant uncertainty. They leave, to find or form communities that will take and accept them as they are. Others stay, choosing to love and serve within the Faith Tradition they call home, yet unable to be open and real about who they are. Forced to endure the often ignorantly well-meaning, but also just as painful, homophobia and transphobia that exists within many Christian circles.

For some just remaining in these environments is the cause of deep psychological and emotional harm. For many of our young rainbow whanau, the results can be the development of deep shame and self-hatred, leading to suicidal ideation, and even death.

And yet we wait.

Because we need to get our theology right. Because we need to keep the community united. Because if we begin this conversation, we don’t know where it might end, nor if our church community will still be standing at the end.

And while we wait, young queer kids die, and our rainbow whanau suffer, and the message is heard over and over, our god does not care for you.

This is not the message the Church should be bearing to any of God’s children.

And to be fair, I don’t believe it is the message that most Christian leaders are wanting to send.

I suspect that many elders, pastors and priests delay because they are afraid.

Afraid of getting it wrong, afraid of alienating people, afraid that if they start the conversation, that they will lose people.

Yet, they are losing people.

Rainbow Christians are leaving our churches, young people are choosing to walk out our doors, whanau with Rainbow kids are deciding that they would rather be without a community, than in one that won’t embrace the ones they love.

And then there are the silent ones. The growing number of people sitting in our congregations, who sense that something about the way the church is responding to the LGBTQ community isn’t right. Many of these people aren’t leaders in our churches, they may not have all the theology worked out, but they struggle to reconcile what they know about their queer friends, and the way the church speaks about, and treats the rainbow community.

There is a tendency in the church to delay important conversations, whether it be about sexuality, gender, or justice, until we’ve got the theology all sorted out.

But, we are not called to have perfect theology, we are called to love and serve.

The question we have to ask is, is our delay an act of love and service, or the opposite?

In this situation I think it is the opposite.

Delaying korero around LGBTQ inclusion, or keeping it behind closed doors, is harmful to Queer Christians and their families already within our midst. When we are not clear about what we believe, and how we intend to hold that belief, it is confusing to everyone. It leaves Queer Christians wondering and waiting for an answer that may never come.

The conversation is happening anyway.

It’s time we brought it out into the open.

Yes it will be messy. Yes, wisdom will be required. But, sometimes the only way to move forward is to take the first step, and just embrace the messiness.

I believe that it is possible for us to have this conversation in a manner which honors everyone involved, one which respects and acknowledges the diverse theological perspectives that exist within this korero, and yet also centers the voices of our Queer Christian whanau. The Christian Tradition has room for diversity of belief within our communities. There is a way for us to hold differing theological perspectives, and still remain united.

The conversation will not be easy. We will need to wrestle with our scriptures, our traditions, our history. We will need to examine what we believe and why, and perhaps just as vitally, how we have held and will hold that belief.

We will need courage, and we will need to be committed to the messiness of genuine community.

But, it can be done.

For too long, our Rainbow whanau have been marginalized, both within society, and also within the church. But, even within a community where the rainbow has consistently been pushed to it’s margins, Queer Christian’s have refused to give up on the God they love, and the faith tradition they call their own.

As Christian leaders have waited, cautiously trying to figure out what they should believe, and how they should hold that belief, Queer Christians have gotten on with living their faith, and following their Saviour.

They exist, and it is time we acknowledged them.

Let’s start the conversation.

A.J. Hendry