#Metoo & Sexual Victimisation: P1 / Grant Ridout

What is it about the #metoo movement that causes some to roll their eyes and rant about ‘man-hate’?

I suspect the answer lies in the unfortunate inability for many to deal with nuanced reasoning.

It is easier (and in some ways ‘safer’) to deal with the world in black and white. It’s no new phenomenon for people, in general, to express partisan politics and socio-economic philosophies. Yet, I’ve noticed in our contemporary world how that political gap between left and right has become more and more pronounced. The art of nuance, has been replaced with a world of memes and this only sets the course for a greater chasm between ‘left’ and ‘right.’

It is a war where ‘straw-man’ rocks are thrown back and forth between the political trenches. ‘Left’ versus ‘right’, ‘capitalists’ versus ‘communists,’ ‘millennials versus ‘boomers,’ ‘snow-flake lib-tards’ versus ‘hegemonic balding middle aged white males’. Labelling those other to us, makes us feel somehow justified in our own biases.

One of the most unfortunate situations is that those who should be reporting objectively; i.e. the media, fare no better and are simply more fuel to the fire of ‘out of control’ partisanship. The world keeps being more radically polarised to think in terms of ‘us and them,’ ‘left and right’ and the general media have played their part in this.

This kind of factionalism, whether on the left or right, actually does a disservice to movements like #metoo.

The ‘left’ ‘cry wolf’ too often, and are too aggressive with blanket statements, and the ‘right’ are primed to react negatively to anything the ‘left’ says or that sounds remotely like ‘not taking ‘personal responsibility.’

This does not foster good communication or healthy debate. More importantly it does not help the actual victims; the real people who are sexually victimised. If we keep pushing further ‘left’ and ‘right’ in out-of-control partisanship we end up losing sight of the real victims. It becomes a political game rather than a solution, a weird game of ‘piggy in the middle.’

As a man, I’ve seen unnecessary ‘male-bashing’ but, as a man, I’ve also seen the pain and powerlessness that woman face in this country when they are sexually victimised and endeavour to take action via the correct channels. It’s because of this real struggle to find justice within a system that is supposed to protect and serve us that I think the #metoo ‘movement’ exists.

The movement does not deserve an ‘eye-roll’ but serious reconsideration. The #metoo movement should be recognised as more than just a bunch of ‘social justice warriors’ (SJW’s) with an anti-male agenda. It exists because there is a real problem, a big problem, and our workplace and legal systems are not effectively serving the victims.

Recently, we’ve seen in the media the cavalier action of a certain political party towards the third reported case of a woman who was sexually victimised. This time by one of the party staffers. Frightened at first, she gathered her strength a few months later to report the incident. Yet, it took almost a year before any official action even begun. And the excuse? We’re still dealing with the last two cases from a year previous! So this victim just sits in her broken and anxious state, awaiting some kind of resolution.

We also see the absolute ineffectiveness of the law in another ongoing case. This case comes in the form of years of ongoing litigation and what is essentially the re-traumatising and re-victimisation of a young woman. It involves a certain man who was accused of sexual harassment towards one of his employees.

Out of court settlements were made but he broke the agreement and what followed has been years of relentless litigation on the behalf of the accused.

Found guilty three times, yet he still keeps coming back and appealing case after case. The victim is certain it will keep continuing all the way up into the Supreme Court.

That means many more years of litigation when all she wants to do is put it behind her and move on.

And, this is all within the realms of legality! The young woman’s whole life and future have been ‘put on hold’ in many ways due to the ongoing time, financial and emotional demand that this whole unnecessary ordeal has placed upon her simply because the accused has the money to ‘burn’. Her mental health and physical health have suffered, because she (rightly) placed her trust in a legal system that is supposed to execute justice.

So when certain prominent media personalities insensitively say, “why didn’t you come forward earlier?” Our collective response should be, well ‘duh!’ because the ‘left’ seem too busy shouting slogans, rather than responding rationally and concretely, the ‘right’ appear too reactive to take it seriously and the saddest aspect of this whole situation; our justice system is broken.

The #metoo hashtag needs to be taken from the hands of the ever polarising socio-political climate and placed back in the hands of the actual victims. The real victims need to be empowered, humanised and to feel safe. The justice system needs to revise how it deals with such cases. Of course, there is the necessity for those who are accused to have access to a fair and just defence. The last thing we want is the innocent being accused and punished. However, how many appeals against a guilty verdict are necessary before enough is enough? How long should a person have to sit imprisoned in the anxiety of untrialled sexual victimisation?

The sexually victimised in our country should be able to say, “#metoo; but now I am healing because those around me ensured that I was safe, I was listened to, and the legal system enacted justice in a fair and timely fashion. I can look up and see the blue horizon again.”

Rev. Grant Ridout is an ordained Minister in the Presbyterian Church of Aotearoa. Father of four, husband of one and Minister of St. Stephen’s Ponsonby, Auckland. He loves vintage suitcases, single malt whisky, justice, mercy and Jesus Christ.