Abortion! What's Missing from the Debate? / Trinette Taylor

As a Christian, it is unpopular to voice a struggle with the pro-life movement. There is a vehement yelling voice somewhere in the guts of our religion that cries out against the killing of an unborn fetus. It argues that all babies deserve the chance to grow up and have the potential to do wonderful things. That it is despicable that a mother can silence the life of her unborn child, stating that it is an option of selfishness, that it is the murder of an innocent.

The reason I struggle with this is both in my feminist values and in what I believe is the true mission of the church. As a feminist, I believe that a woman should feel as if she has a safe measure of control over her body, without fear, judgement, or shame. I despise the idea that she may be coerced, shamed, or neglected by her community for her decisions regarding her body. I believe that she has the capability to be strong, wise, and passionate. I believe that she has the ability to make choices that she believes will impact her in a positive way.

But I also believe in the sanctity of life. I believe that a baby should not be terminated early without it being treacherous to the life of the mother. I believe that all babies have the right to life. I believe that fear of our society’s gaze, anxiety over the future, financial hardship, or simple self-interest should not be the deciding factors into whether or not a woman would carry a child until birth.

So, I live in tension with these views. I am conflicted because I want women to feel safe and in control, but I also want children to survive and thrive. Essentially, I want the best of both worlds. And, I believe, that without a mind-set change of what pro-life should actually mean, I don’t think that this dream can be achieved.

I believe that what a woman who is considering abortion needs is a community that surrounds her in love, chooses to encourage and bless her, speaks hope and joy into her life, and supports her in whatever she needs in order for her to believe the best in herself and in the future of her child. That, I believe, is a true pro-life stance.

I fear that what some religions and communities lack is the drive to be passionate beyond the birth of a child. A person can anti-abortion rally all they like, but where are they once a child is born and it falls through the cracks of society due to either financial difficulty or societal disregard? Where are the protesters when a child and its mother are struggling under the emotional weight of their domestic hardship? Where is the religion when a mother feels as if she has lost all hope?

Shane Claiborne, in his book ‘Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical’ approaches a pro-life stance beautifully: “I must say I am still passionately pro-life, I just have a much more holistic sense of what it means to be for life, knowing that life does not just begin at conception and end at birth, and if I am going to discourage abortion, I had better be ready to adopt some babies and care for some mothers”.[1]

Regardless of your faith, if your view on abortion is that it should cease, start being the mode in which ceasing it becomes possible. In my humble opinion, the ceasing of abortion will not be possible until the alternative is a better option overall. Until keeping a child is the best alternative. Until love, and love beyond birth, is the best alternative. The most life-giving thing you can do for those considering abortion is to give life. Giving friendship, support, kindness, mentoring, financial aid, a place to stay, transport to doctors visits, encouragement, a hug when things seem dark.

And what happens if a decision to terminate becomes a reality?

Continue to love. It is not your place to shame or judge. It is your place to love.

If you were prepared to love the mother with a child growing in her womb, be prepared to love her without a child. Your love will help her heal, to grow, and more importantly, to trust you and your intentions to care for her.

I believe that a mother considering abortion has the capability to be strong, wise, and passionate. I believe that a community of friends that surround her with love, compassion, and kindness who will love her regardless of her decision are more likely to encourage or enable her to give birth to her child than any amount of anti-abortion protestors. As a community we have the potential to offer this kind of love. We can have the best of both worlds.

- Trinette Taylor

[1] Shane Claiborne, Irresistible Revolution: Living as an Ordinary Radical (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2006), 44.