Abortion: A Pro-Life Ethic Must Go Further / Khalia Strong
“If it were MY baby, I would keep it…”
“How could a MOTHER do that?”
“Children are a blessing.”
Christians are taught to value life, to speak truth, to forsake evil and walk the straight and narrow.
So what happens when the rules around abortion are up for debate?
It’s the classic clash of church against state. For some Christians, this may seem like a rallying call to arms. Campaign via social media, write to MP’s, unite with other churches to march down Queen Street.
But is there something missing in this strategy?
What if the current rhetoric and punitive approach is further alienating the church from the people they’re supposed to be nurturing?
What if the emotive bashing is shutting off what could be a dialogue for understanding and positive change?
I encourage your to put your preconceived ideas aside and hear me out. For those who practice planned parenthood and have managed to overwrite nature/God’s will using contraception, I'd invite you to consider that not everyone has the same access to contraception that you did. Without taking time to listen to these women, and their situation, you’re not able to fully understand the situation which is faced by 13,000 Kiwi women every year.
Consider for a moment that, abortion is a scenario that NO ONE plans to be in. Most people never go into parenthood expecting to do it alone. I am quick to caution my younger friends, female and male: ONLY have a baby if you’re prepared to raise it on your own. We have no certainty of the future.
When a pregnancy is unexpected, it comes laden with unwelcome hormones, time pressure, and a responsibility for a human life, that has been somewhat forced upon you. An for some, a huge decision.
There are only two underlying motivators for how people make decisions: fear or love. This can also be called avoiding pain (fear) or seeking pleasure (love). Both factors present in a mother who finds out she’s pregnant, and one will usually outweigh the other.
Is she going to be a solo mother with no job? Maybe she already has other children she’s struggling to care for? Maybe her mental health is at risk and she’s not coping? Is she too old/too young? Maybe her relationship is strained, and a newborn could rip her family apart? Perhaps she sees termination as the only way of protecting her child, and to make sure it doesn’t have to grow up in the life she can offer right now?
These reasons are 100% valid to that person in that moment, and termination may seem like the right and responsible thing to do.
A mother knows what is expected, Shouting your truth louder isn’t going to change anything.
So what then? A decision to abort is never made lightly. But our current law takes it too far, where a mother needs to consult two doctors and convince them something is inherently wrong with her so she can have an abortion. Our current law allows protests to happen right outside abortion clinics where women can be harassed up to the door, because free speech.
I don’t see many placards that say “I will give your baby the love and care that you feel you can’t.”
Because that’s what it comes down to. If you are going to tell someone they should have their baby when they have decided not to, what happens to those children? Who is going to stand in the gap for their welfare? The government? Or the church, with the original mandate to care for widows and the fatherless.
Readers gird your loins, because I’m about to drop some truth.
Without action, your words are all talk.
Not everyone will subscribe to the same moral code you uphold, but you are called to love them, regardless of their choices.
If you are committed to a consistent pro-life ethic, here are some things you can do, and maybe some things to avoid.
What not to do:
Tell a woman having a hard time that she’s ‘blessed’ to be pregnant and that you’ll pray for her.
Look at the faces of the sponsor children on your fridge and remind yourself of the good you’re doing overseas while ignoring what’s going on in your own community. New Zealand’s state care is hopelessly overloaded and has one of the highest rates of domestic violence in the world.
Change your facebook profile photo to say ‘both lives matter’, with no follow through or support for the mother if she decides to terminate.
What to do:
Open your heart and home to people that are from different walks of life. If a friend is struggling in their relationship, have an open door if they ever need to take the kids and leave for the night. Show them they’re not expected to do it on their own and they have a village to support them. Have kids over whenever you can, drop them home with a full belly and a true offer of ‘anytime’.
Place value on stay at home parents. For many, there’s no choice. The government will give them subsidised childcare and an in-work tax credit for working 20 hours per week, even if it’s minimum wage. Society will praise them for working and ‘setting an example for their kids’ and accuse them for staying home with their children and ‘bludging off the government’. A present, loving parent is worth more than $17.70 an hour to society in the long run.
Make contraception free or heavily subsidised. I don’t care if your kids have a purity ring and have sworn to abstinence until marriage, I’m making sure they know there’s a drawer in the bathroom with a steady supply of condoms and sanitary items ‘for their friends’ if they need it.
Go on, save these 13,000 children from being aborted each year. If every pro-life family in New Zealand adopted or fostered a child, issue solved. Then we just need to figure out how to help the other 7,500 children already in state care.
Vote for a government that gives beneficiaries (one-fifth of which are sole parents) enough to feed their families and live in a home that is warm and dry.
Leave your condemnation and judgement out of it. Graphic pictures of aborted babies on signs, calling out these women as murderers, saying an abortion does irreparable damage...put down your stones. Stop the shame and stigma. Surround with love.
Empower women and build them up, so if they ever find themselves with an unexpected pregnancy, they know they are capable and have the resources to be an awesome mama.
Know your facts - 0.5% of abortions take place after 20 weeks, usually under severe medical circumstances. Abortions in women aged 15-19 have significantly in the past ten years to 8.9%, this was down from 26.7% in 2007. In comparison, more than a third of abortions last year were by women aged over thirty.
Above all, focus on what you can do for others with the resources you have and the lives you can influence.
Khalia Strong is a journalism graduate of kiwi-tongan descent. She is a student of life, constantly working on her own values and weighing them up against social and Christian viewpoints.